The Apocalypse?

"There will come a time where you'll not be blaming others for what they've done and expect the offenders only to be punished. On that fateful day, everyone will be punished. Whether you're sinful as a guilty criminal or as sinless as an innocent baby, you will have to face the wrath of the day to come. This is what we get for pushing the blame and responsibility around without lifting our fingers for the greater good"

 The day will finally arrive, sooner than imagined.

But we human beings are good at distracting ourselves, telling ourselves that the fateful day will never come. Rather than to think of the 'what if it really happens and what should we do to avoid that from happening', we are instead trying to find more excuse to do more things for the sake of being materially contented.

As if the movie 2012 is not scary enough. As if the Word is not scary enough. And the recent changes in climate, shifting of what was supposedly 'normal' to become something absolutely different. Are we really imbeciles so much as we are not able to read the signs?

Even if you don't agree with me, it does not matter anyway...

In our current lives, maybe it is easy for us to pinpoint at other people and blame one another for doing something to get another person in hot soup. We catch criminals and expect them to face the music. We apprehend thieves and robbers, we accuse politicians of their bigger sins and we like to look at ourselves as 'victims of circumstance'. Very few people take it upon themselves to live righteously, because the standard reply would only be, 'why bother? The world's a dog-eat-dog society. We have to fight back. Let them see who is stronger'...

Yes, we are still fighting. Maybe some still do fight physically, but nowadays, 'civilized' people resort to fighting via indirect manners (i.e. going to court, using sophisticated words to belittle another person, making sniper attacks at the person(s) who annoyed him/her earlier during the Board Meeting, purposely dumping their shares just to crash a newly-listed company and many more)... We are still fighting, with our brains.

We are still living in the Dark Ages when it comes to Social Responsibility. Forget Corporate Social Responsibilities (CSRs), these are just PR / politically-motivated ploys to show how 'good' companies are but in actual fact, are riding on the media to give them more coverage/visibility. Such is the capitalist world we live in right now. We've to a certain extent, thank Pulitzer & Hearst, paving the way of using sensationalism and yellow journalism, inspiring varying degrees of yellow-ness in today's media. That's just one part of the varying truth we are 'forced' to accept in our 'modern' Dark Age life now. Not everyone cares about the poor cat on the street. Wait a minute, I mean, more people actually care about that hungry cat on the street than the 'useless beggar sitting at the roadside'... Same ol' excuse, 'he's got hands, why can't he work?' ... Smarto... Will you employ him/her? Easier said than done!

Ask yourself a question: When a lorry passes by your vehicle, emitting black smoke, what do you mutter?

Chances are, your answer might just be similar to mine! 'Curses... Why don't your *** company send your lorries for servicing and inspection so you won't dirty my brand new car?'

See, I am as shallow as some of you guys too, especially when I am angry. That only made me more human, which I regret for the most part of my life. Submitting myself to only be able to carry out the duties of being a human being with humanly condemned flaws .....

We love to blame others. Who doesn't? It feels good to shift it to someone! Even if it is our fault, blatantly. Most lawyers will secretly feel the pinch if they are defending the guilty-but-i-have-money-to-fight-this case people. After all, the person with the louder voice, bigger frame or more money is the 'ultimate' winner regardless of whether he/she was at fault in the first place.

What is justice with the legal system anyway? A place where we can find more loopholes to evade being hunted like an outlaw?

Or rather, it was meant to be the SAVING GRACE for people who had the evil 'God' whom Capitalists swears by all the time, MONEY?

It is funny how the world is coming to an end and we are just not even bothered to repent, ask for forgiveness, pray and change ourselves to be at least a teeeeny weeeeny bit better? Rather than doing that, we have the sudden increase in property prices. Malaysian economics are just too weird. Makes no cow sense at all to the monetarily/materially-poor people. But it does make some lembu-sense to those with bucks to spare. The rich gets richer through manipulation, not exactly through hard work and honesty.

Reminds me of a joke I read a long time ago.
( "Here lies Strange, both a lawyer and an honest man") 

--> oh, you mean there are 2 people? That's just Strange!

We all play a big part in ensuring that we all get another living minute on the already-crashing Earth. I don't think Martians are invading. Our Navy/army/troops and nuclear weapon systems might probably scare them away. But not the coming of that Omnipresent one. And no, this OMNIPRESENT person does not work in Damansara Perdana. (lembu-shit -- but that's a separate matter altogether...)

We do not live and co-exist in a society nowadays. We are individualists. We do not care if we see someone being pushed while trying to board a bus. We don't try to stop a robber/snatch thief because we fear for our own safety. We do not do so much things because we have the rights to feel self-centered because others will not risk their lives to save us.

We come up with 1001 reasons to justify what we are doing. Some people resort to petty theft because they are unable to secure jobs. Of course the question would be 'is he that unworthy of being employed that he has difficulties being employed?' and when we see the situation he/she is in, we find means and ways to justify why this person 'would have turned into a victim due to physical deformities, speech impairment, language barrier etc. We are always finding ways to justify each others' actions rather than to think of something that will be beneficial to the society.

Put this all into plain context:

"If I smoke, it doesn't affect you guys, so why the freakin' fuss?"

"So what if the lorry is emitting black smoke? It is still functioning, it can carry my construction stuff here still and I get to save cost!"

"No harm in getting that piece of plastic bag. After all, there are just too many already"

"Please tapau this for me, you have those polistyrene thingey? I am too lazy to wash my wonderful Tupperware"

"Oh I see... You mean my open burning is causing your child to fall ill? Seek a health professional's advice then! I am unable to assist you.... I have too much leaves to be burnt. Are you willing to help me to dispose it then?"

"Oh... goodie.. No one is looking. Dump all those toxic waste into the river. It will alleviate our problem of paying so much to the waste management company to dispose off this 15 gallons of toxic. No problem, it's not like anyone comes to this lake anyway....."

"Japan was hit by the massive earthquake? This is a lesson we have to learn for being so cruel and invade our country years back" (i heard this from some imbecile at a bus stop while i was walking out for lunch one fine day)

"Eh, that piece of trash is sitting in the car for too long, can you please wind the window and throw it out please? It irks me to see that red plastic bag sitting there. Do it now please...."

"Oh yay! Throw oranges into Sungai Segget! I want a rich man! I wanna get married to a rich man!!"


All these (and more) are only but a fraction of problem we face. As I am sitting here, I am also causing the depletion of electricity. I am typing this while consuming so much energy, trying to say something that may ultimately mean nothing to the world. After all, 'who cares?' right?

 We are all selfish by nature. We only care for our own selves.

If someone were to do something wrong, we like to point at him/her and like to see them punished for their crime. We measure them by our own yardsticks. We like to feel superior and above others. We ultimately want to feel good about ourselves so much as we put others down just to feel better. We start subscribing to Capitalism as a religion and Money as our God. We use materials to differentiate our pseudo-status. We like to feel that we are just of 'better class' than the rest. We parade our expensive cars around while squatting in rented 600sq ft apartments.

Who are the real hypocrites? We are.... And most of the time, we are not admitting it at all.

And for what little thing we do that hurts the environment, we are also hurting the innocent ones. When that Day arrives, we are all answerable for everyone's actions. It would no longer be like the 'blame game sessions' we are still having nowadays, pushing the blame to one anothet.

When that day comes, even the young and innocent child will have to pay for our sins.

It will be collective. We are all responsible for it.

"There will come a time where you'll not be blaming others for what they've done and expect the offenders only to be punished. On that fateful day, everyone will be punished. Whether you're sinful as a guilty criminal or as sinless as an innocent baby, you will have to face the wrath of the day to come. This is what we get for pushing the blame and responsibility around without lifting our fingers for the greater good"

But too bad, not everyone will agree with me.


Btw, no offense to the lawyers. I am just too humanly lazy to include my other prejudices as well. I also have personal grudges and prejudices against Investment Bankers in general, MDs of corporate companies with children being offered scholarships when their parent(s) are earning 5-6 figure salary p.m. ,  people who drinks excessively and drives precariously but miraculously, has never been slapped with a heavy fine or jailed, people who has too much money and even he does wrong, is still out and about, people driving like aimless butt-heads, terrible women drivers taking 5 minutes to park instead of asking for help and jamming up the streets, and more. 'i am only human...'


And GOD in the above context refers to the one and almighty God of all creation, regardless of religions or in some contexts, may be referred to as sects/cults.

Life is a joke!

Please do not easily agree with me. Neither should you totally dismiss what i am about to say (type) too fast!

But I find life a practical joke. Impractically practical. Okay, paradoxical life.

Anyway, I wonder why are we even here on Earth? Rather than, 'What on Earth are you doing here?' we should ask ourselves 'What we WE doing here on Earth?!'

Being a 'fresh grad' who suddenly plopped into a cheena-fied SME in Malaysia, I can't think of anything but 'no life'. First job upon graduation, pay scale is to the peanuts. You work like as though you are taking on 3 people's work. What are you doing on Earth? Slaving yourselves away to bring in more profit for the bigger fishes? And at the end, pay for more just to afford the big fishes' products and services?

Life is impractical. We laugh at ourselves, knowing how silly we can be and yet, still repeat the same silly mistakes. We are a big walking and talking paradox. Ironic. Or whatever words that suddenly pops up in your mind.

Why work so hard for money? Why bother impressing others? Why bother thinking about how others think about us? Isn't it just so impractical?

I am starting to get irritated when people start telling me 'wah, she is so rich.... she can afford this/that/whatever bla bla'. Like, 'okay... i am 'so interested' in your Gucci'. Get a life man! If I were to choose something, I rather choose my RM10 pasar malam handbag or those free ones that Mum gave me whenever she purchases her beauty products from Parkson. Oh yeah, these bags lasted me for like, 5 - 8 years? And they are still as beautiful as ever! Nicer than your LV-ed bag. Too much branding over it, looks so cluttered. And looks so Chee Cheong Kai - ish if you know what I am saying!

We rush and work so hard for things we don't have but want. So, are we trying to say that we have what we have and we take it all for granted and then push ourselves harder to achieve the 20% we don't have? Chances of losing the 80% we already have is so high! Sky rocketing high! But are we seeing it in this perspective? No...

We are governed by a new religion with a new 'God' now.

The new 'God' is Money and the religion is what we call it Capitalism.

Sounds familiar?

Tepuk dada tanya selera. Ask yourself, why are you subscribing to Capitalism? I am not trying to be Holier-than-Thou here but you get what I mean right? Why bother to worry about what Capitalism is trying to make us turn into, when we were instilled with 1001 moral values that we just threw out of the window at the sight of Bills. Dirty Bills. Cash. Money. Smelly and crumpled notes. Soiled notes.

We are 'worshipping' cash nowadays. Like it or not, we make it a must to think about cash everyday. Good to say good riddance to Batter Trade System, i don't produce butter anyway. But point being, we are consistently thinking of ways to earn more, disregarding the fact that with every little increase, we are killing ourselves and the less monetarily fortunate ones.

When you are poor, you feel the pinch. when you are rich, you are afraid someone may rob you. Either way, you lose. Oh people of poor faith like how you and I are. How we suffer because of what we want.

Life is really a big paradox by itself. But that does not mean we have to lose our humanity in times of trials and temptation. If you see someone fall, extend a helping hand and not point a finger and laugh at him. If you see someone in need of a friend, be that friend to this person. If people condemn you even after you have done something good, continue doing good. Chances are, they are just plainly jealous of your ability to do good. You think corporate stinko's are able to be as good as you are? Or are the mediocre fools able to see things from your perspective?

Sometimes, we know what should be done and what should not be done. We know our values. We know what is good and what is not good. But we choose not to do good if there are certain 'clauses' governing us from making that right decision. We are often at awe, looking at volunteers sacrificing themselves to do good and help other people out. We can also be a part of this team. But we choose not to.

So, at the end of the day, our own selfishness caused us yet again to be what we are. We want to be good but we are not willing to sacrifice enough to do good.

It is easier to be bad than to be good. Live with it.

applying for leave/holidays

2011 is a bad day for holidays for me. Even for pertinent stuff.

What to do? Responsibility increasing with each passing day. I just don't feel like sleeping sometimes [like, today... yeah]

Applying for leave is going to be tough, discounting the fact that most PH this year falls on either Saturday/Sunday. What will they do? Refund? Tough luck bro. I highly doubt so.

Getting married, renovating the house, busy trying to make an honest living, trying to rise up the ranks while doing my job well and MORE......

How can people juggle between all these and remain married? I really wonder sometimes...

Anyway, whenever my friends tell me of the wonderful weather in Korea or the awesome trip to Taiwan/China or even my fav, GREECE.... I can't help but to just tell myself to look forward to my weekend. If I am working on Saturday, I comfort myself with the fact that Sunday is a rest day that flies by too fast. Sometimes, ending up with swelling eyes on a blue Monday morning due to too much tears, weeping for stupid reasons.

It feels terrible, knowing that you're a fresh grad, and most of the time you're just like plankton in the middle of the deep blue ocean. You get eaten up by bigger fishes. And the fish gets eaten by bigger bigger fish and so on. Exponentially, it will never end,. But I cross my fingers and pray that all these mumbo jumbo will end soon.

Sometimes I wish I need not work. But I know that if I quit, my hands will get itchy and before long I'll be hired yet again!

Anyway, this job is not that bad la. I love the environment MINUS the 38 ladies who are worse than fish mongers. They are the biggest rumours-mongers i have ever seen in my entire life. or probably I am still young?

Anyway, I really want to go for my trip up 4101m but with stupidly weak knees, bye KK, bye 4101m......

I guess I have to try hard enough to tell myself that I need a break, cuz I always feel that I can still go on as others are having a rougher week as compared to myself. Pushing too hard might break my knee if not my backbone.

But I also hate the fact that people like 'comparing' paychecks or job titles. we are all fresh grads. why bother showing off to one another that we are doing 'well' when we are honestly suffering? Money might be good, but we become time-poor. Worst would be the time and money-poor people taking on crap jobs at crap companies.

I am still quite lucky. Just need to say to myself that I need a break. But I cannot. I hate myself. FML...

Renovating the house

It is not easy to renovate.Getting a place that's only 2 years old (but warranty period is over) is a headache. Couple that with 'i need to hack of all the tiles?!' headache, you're in for trouble.
But thank goodness I have a wonderful husband who is able to take care of most stuff. Working at odd shift hours have once again proven to be good. I wonder if I should jump ship too?

Back to the story....

Tiles may not be expensive, but workmanship is awesomely expensive.
Furnitures may not look expensive at the first glance, until you notice that the material used = not so good. And you start seeking for a 'better' furniture only to realize that it is the same but they charge you higher because they are in Midvalley.
Lighting and other fittings may look quite affordable if it is itemized. Sum it all up, you can laugh out loud if it does not touch RM1000 for a nice looking and affordable one.

But at the end of the day, it all boils down to whether you will like living in your new place or not. No point going for a cheaper alternative and only to think about an upgrade in only a short span of 2-3 years. Even if it means monthly installments for me. Oh well, I need to secure myself with a job for at least 2 years then....

For young friends who are reading this, it would be a good time to stash off some of those cash you've allocated for your weekly Starbucks affair, or those additional blows for something from LV/salvatore/Marc/whatever else..... Unless your parents print money (unlike mine of course or I'd be purchasing LVs without a hoot already!) it would be great to cut down on some 'additionals'. A little goes a long way.

Darn, I should have taken on 3 jobs during my university years instead of just those weekend part time ones...

Dang..... I still have the habit of calling it a house when it is sitting 2-digit high floor and away from ground zero.

New House

Yay~ New crib's gonna be done really really soon!

But of course, still would need TIME to really equip ourselves to the necessary level.

Flipping through magazines, don't you wish you can have everything they have and more? Those wonderful island with wine holders above it, those ever-glossy acrylic stuff over the doors? Oh oh... Not to mention, those awesome 2' x 2' tiles?

Wait a minute, where can I get my Alessi stuff? Or even my Royal Selangor Pewter?! (oh... not really a pewter fan though...)

We human beings have strange perception of things in life.

You may love driving big cars, show off your shiny BMW 3 series or probably get a puny little overpriced POLO. Congrats man, you've got your dream car. But I don't intend to sit in those big depreciating asset. I much rather lie dead on my wonderfully comfortable sofa and have an adorable puppy licking my nose while SCH plays his God of War on PS3.

I rather have a beautiful home but pay 2-years of installments that will drive myself almost saving-less. I don't believe in buying a make-shift item and only upgrade after 2/3 years. Amounts to more wastage at the end of the day. Nobody buys 2nd hand cheap plates.

But I am still happy.

Not because I have the world's best looking house.

Rather, I know I will have a HOME in the wonderfully simple house because HOME is where the HEART is :) and that's where my SCH will be..... yuv....

Getting Married

The idea of getting married -- does it scare you?

Oh I forgot babes. We are married, legally. So, what's the fuss right?

But of course, life's not that simple. It's just not about "i go to work, i earn my paycheck, i come home, i cook, i eat, i poop, i brush teeth and sleep, tmr morning will be a better day" and i repeat the same cycle again.

How mundane life can actually be....

But anyway, life's not about hoarding cash in your bank account. Who says money cannot buy happiness? That wonderful trip to Korea, those tiny Android phones, those oh-so-cute plushies from TY or even those stupidly-priced ROSES during Valentine's Day...... It makes you happy, doesn't it? Even though sometimes it is just not practical at all!

But what they hey?! Do something you really want to. Buy something you really like. Make yourself happy.

Get the best looking gown for your wedding too, of course! But then again, we Chinese will always go through that annoying part in life called 'what will other people think?'........

Sometimes I think marriage is a bane. It is annoying, it gives me the creeps knowing that my life requires some 'cap SIRIM' approval from some people I never knew existed. Not to mention, people who tak ada kena mengena in our lives. Oh, so you mean you existed? Oh that's great!! (whispers: who the heck is that aunty? she didn't just call me fat aye?)

Maybe I am just scaring myself too much. Maybe it is not that scary after all..........

Ever enough?

Ever had that feeling that you will never have enough time? Or even enough money, or even something as stupid as 'not enough toilet tissue paper leh' feeling?

I am really trying to kick my awesome habit of 'I just want to think I am busy so I don't need to do anything!' and get on with my life, doing things that I really need to do.

Maybe I should stop complaining silently in my head but say it out loud so someone will come over and knock me on my head when they notice I am slacking again........

But of course, only happens when I am at home.

And what the heck, I don't get to come home before 8:30pm every freaking weekday. Considered quite a bargain as compared to SOME companies. But yeah, traffic jam is awful considering the fact that Perodua should just be voted off the country for introducing 0% downpayment and awesomely idiotic interest rate and 9-yr loans for young punks who are not even fit to maneuver a remote control car, let alone drive on busy roads like the North-South highways.

Nothing against Myvis... But don't you think there are just too many accidents?

Ahh.... This is life.... :(

And no, life's never enough.... so before you say enough is enough, think again... Will you say 'money/time is enough'?

Owning a property

Not really a 1001% pleasant thing. Although deep down inside, I know that the end result will nullify all the bad experiences.

Anyway, let's just say that we have to HACK OFF the tile that took up 1/3 of our new home! Oh yay! Did we mention that it might cost RM6000 just to retile that part back?

Besides that, purchasing a condominium with no strata title (yet) is such a hassle to the point where you want to change window/doors but you are not allowed because these fixtures are not allowed to be changed until we get the strata title.

You mean, we are all going to have the SAME DOOR, SAME WINDOW, SAME COLOR?

Oh thank goodness we can change our grilles :)

Raising Children

Not a very easy task. Being a parent, a heavier responsibility.

But unfortunately, most people do not see it this way anymore. We all fail to see the difference in each individual.

One person may love to eat mango, another just hates oranges and another swears by watermelon. We have different tastes at different times. I won't take pineapple for breakfast, neither will I have durian right before I sleep. But some people I heard of took Coke and durian with chicken rice.

Anyway, back to the topic of having children. What frustrates me most is the fact that there are just too many people asking us when we are deciding on having a baby. Like, seriously? Chinese wedding & Church ceremony is not over yet, I do not expect a baby to pop up in between planning. Might even suffer a miscarriage if I tried. Some people just don't think, do they? After all, most of them were men jabbering the poor husband when he was going to be a father.

Of course, the issue of 'wife/husband unable to have kids' remain sensitive, despite the Earth going to a standstill. Ever heard of people saying, 'you know, his wife is barren... cannot have their own kids one leh'... Oh, like you didn't know, it is pretty normal for women/men to be infertile nowadays. Worse still, some couples are humiliated because they just did not want to have kids in 5 years time and people started talking behind their backs about how the wife is supposedly unable to reproduce. And yes, after that, this family suddenly had 7 kids. And I happened to be a proud friend to one of  their child :)

Human beings are just evil.

Raising children these days, they just scare me. Piano classes, ballet, guitar class, gym, aerobics, art, music, typing, computer, english, BM, mandarin, german, french, japanese (forgive the non-capital letters, sick of caps-ing all)................ don't kids these day have rest at all?

5 times more DHA? Oh come on..... How did we all survive without those DHA thingey in the past? We were alright, could even score 100% in subjects and made our parents proud without drinking those DHA-filled milk.

Oh, btw, didn't you know that our body can also produce/take in needed nutrients?

Nah, may don't know. Children nowadays may seem lucky, but in fact they are too 'lucky' that they have never seen worms in real life, neither have they bathed in streams, gotten bee stings and recuperating from a swollen cheek, kickboxing with friends of other race/religions together without t-shirts, and many other things that kampung kids have but they don't.....

Raising children these days became a competition. Parents use their kids to compare with others just to feel more superior than another. "Oh, my Gavin scored 100% in Math, what about your Michelle?"

I love mum for always replying, 'my children are all very stupid one la. No need to compare'....

Anyway, I don't score 100% on an average basis, but I still delivered my A's. Not good enough? 80% of my friends, if they knew I hated to be compared with these people, they would have thrown eggs at these few idiots.

As a child during the 80s/90s, we already had so much to deal with. What more now? And education is not free in our friggin' country. What's worse than paying for little kid's university fees? Yeah, purchase another study plan for my kid and donate RM100/month to one of these insurance companies only for them to go bust. Or to only find that our kid doesn't want to study anymore due to too much pressure.

Kids have Nursery, K1 K2 in kindergarten classes? OMG! I only entered kindy at 6 and of course by 7 was in a school already! What happened to the 5-year old kid spending time with mommy to bake cookies and messing up the kitchen in the process?

That's it. I will quit my job and take care of Mervyn/Melanie/whoever these idiots will be (my kids) to avoid them being spoilt by maids. And I shall home-school them till probably 6 and send them to primary 1 after that.

my fear

Hey! Everyone's entitled to some fear in life, right?

Not the fear of heights, cockroaches or what not. Rather, the fear I have right now is the fear of uncertainty.

It is true that nobody is perfect, but with so much imperfections in our lives, we cannot help but to wonder what lies ahead.

The world's getting more screwed up, day by day. More kids cursing their parents and their parents being powerless over their kids. More middle-finger worshippers on the roads. More ball-less and brain-less people making decisions for the 'greater good' or so they think it should be.

All these things, they scare me. What if the economy crashes? What if USD dips to the point of no return? What if all nations suffer because of a bad economic downturn? What if the Earth moves out of its line and hits a meteor bigger than the moon?

There are just too many things to worry about.

You know what? Just grab a cuppa refreshing lemon drink and sip. Forget about it. The world will end, even how hard we fight to survive. Armageddon, 2010, whatchamacallit...

Doesn't really matter anyway. But what what really matters more is the current things that you have now. Your family, friends, people around you. Begging for forgiveness might sound a little too desperate. But rather, we probably could do something nice for another person? At least even if today is the last day on Earth for us all, we are still able to make one person smile.

Are you ready to live LIFE? Let go of everything and say that you are ready to die?

That day you openly profess that you are ready to die, that will  be the real day you start living....

Tyrant kids

2 days ago, hubby and I went to C to makan. As usual, Dui Dui Min just looked too good that we were attracted to the food there (again!)

What was supposedly a wonderful meal became a meal with solence+rolling eyes for us instead.

2 kids, we are of the opinion that they are twins; came about with their mother. Bear this in mind. The children should be at least 8 - 10 years old, judging from the minimum age according to height. Might be older but definitely not younger than 8.

Thought your 2 year old who does not understand language is difficult to handle? Try these 2 kids.

Kid A (in pink) came about and started climbing on the stool and jumping.

Kid B (in blue) was walking around the aisle where the waiters served food, i.e. blocking and posing as a hazard at that particular location.

Mother comes in, looks at Kid A and tells her in a soft manner, 'Mei... Get off the chair. Your shoes are dirty'. The kid continues to stand on the stool, trying to look at a softboard attached to the wall beside the stool. Powerless mother. Ptui. Hubby and I rolled our eyes.

After 30 seconds she was still on the chair, after her mother told her to get off. She raised her voice (probably less than 5%) and told her to get off. 'Mei, your shoes are dirty. Your stool is now dirty. Get off'... And Kid A got off reluctantly.

Kid B was holding a yogurt drink in her hand. Not the small bottle. The big one. Drank off the bottle while standing in the middle of the aisle, again posing as a hazard to all people passing by. Mother told her to sit down, she ignores. Mother keeps quiet.

Kid A and Kid B suddenly took an interest in the lady who was preparing noodles. Somewhat like wanton noodles, this pan mee needs hot water to ensure it is cooked. The lady was trying to remove the noodles from the hot water, the 2 children stood so close, they might be hurt by the spilling hot water when the noodles were removed. The lady told them to not stand too close. They ignored. Instead, put their hands above all the other ingredients at the stall, staring, chattering and basically dirtying all the ingredients there with their chattering and moving hands. No wonder why I had diarrhoea that night! (naah.. maybe because I had been cursing these kids, retribution time? whatever....)

Kid A got back to the seat. Kid B still stood in the aisle. She had a thing for the aisle, I reckon. And the lady preparing my food was trying to pass me my long-awaited-yummylicious-dinner when this Kid B nearly backed into her.

Both hubby and I were so evil. We wished that the lady would have spilled the hot soup on the annoying kid to teach her a lesson. But nah, the guy upstairs had to be merciful at that point in time. No accident happened.

Fine and be it. We makan..... Kid A was chatting with the mother and for some reason, her mother kinda 'hit' her. Not really hit as it bashing or hitting because she was naughty. I was too engrossed in my yummy food, didn't notice what happened. But she told her mother off, 'you cannot do this to me. I'll hit you back' (literally translated from Mandarin)

Hubby and I rolled our eyes. If it were our fathers, one slap across the face already. No mercy shown.

After we ate, we paid and left. Went to C to purchase something. Came out, saw Kid A running around alone. Kid B and mum were still eating. Kid A roamed around, pushed a trolley, abandoned it at the side, did whatever else, posed as a hazard in the aisle with people and waiter passing by again, and more stuff that I wouldn't dare to do when I was a kid.

Now, do you know why I DON'T intend to have children yet?

I am not about to become somewhat like this useless, powerless mother whose words are just as useless as her authority as a mother. So what if they were twins? Just because they were special, you could spoil them more? Let them have it their way?

Never in my life I've seen 8 year olds behaving like that. Girls!!!

Gosh... I really hope I won't become like this mother who obviously gave in too much to their kid. My child will at least learn how to respect people for the first 15 years before they become full-fledged and hot-blooded teenagers. At least..... Not having 8 year olds yelling at their mother. Reminds me of one of my annoying cousin too, who hits his father and scolds his mother. If he was my kid, I'd have used a hot brand  to brand his mouth and arse. Seriously, he is rude and it is because his parents allowed him to.

It is a huge responsibility to be a parent. So stop trying to push us to have a kid. It is not as simple as giving birth and hoping that the child turns out good. If not given the right condition and care, however good a child may be, he/she might not have the best environment to grow in.

If only people can stop comparing and start living

I had a friend who loved comparing.

I had, because she is no longer in my friend's list. All the better if she is snooping around here, looking for a better thing to compare with me. I recommend you to read it!

It started off with the LAPTOP. Mum bought me a Dell laptop Inspiron, like, 4 years back. Old story. At that point, ATI 256MB was a wow thing. And my laptop was the first to have the plastic covering, which is conveniently replaced by the sticker that you can print and put on the laptop. It was basically, first generation or the first of its kind. Laptops used to be BLACk or WHITE or SILVER only. Mine was the first with blue color

She bought her XPS. Upset that XPS didn't have the colored cover, she went to the acrylic shop guys to customize a cover for her laptop. Just because she couldn't have any. Not to mention when the sticker thing hit the shores, she was the first to grab. Like as though I want to stick anything on my poor laptop only to peel it off and endure sticky laptop cover till dust totally covered its stickiness... No thanks...

Next came handphone. Just because another friend had N80, she had to show off too.

Note: Her parents paid for her university fees without any loans. She applied for PTPTN and used it to purchase whatever she wanted. Those people who needed PTPTN who did not get, these are the people you should hate.

After awhile, she still kept her grudge. She finally bought a smartphone. A Blackberry, to be precise. I was too sick and tired to bother about her anymore at that point in time. Like, oh come on woman. It's not like your beautiful handphone is going to show that you are better off than us peasants.

Don't you wonder why such people actually existed?
Are they here to just compare with you, make you feel useless, hoping that you will keep up to the trend of having everything new and show no remorse in splashing money on unnecessary evil?

She laughed at our friends who drove kancils or locally made cars. Had her eyes glued on guys with at least a Vios and above. Its okay, it is her choice. But then, she asked her father for a car. Parents are paying for her education fees like coughing out blood already and she demanded for a car. Her dad bought her a 2n hand kancil. Of course, we secretly laughed at her. But she knew it.

When I was down and out in early 2008, I shared with a few friends about the prospect of having a better life in New Zealand. I so wanted to leave the shithole in UCSI at that point, and of course she heard. She went off first. Needless to say, I did not go. Suddenly had a change of heart. Just couldn't leave my parents, can I?
 She had to just call and tell me, 'hey... when are you coming to New Zealand?'. Phew, I changed my phone number already...

So i guess, if she finds out I am married, she would want to get married too?

If she realizes that we are relocating to a new home, she'd want that too?

Now, con another man into marrying her? And get a rich guy so she could have a big bungalow as a wedding gift from her in-laws?

No thank you, Jessica. If you are reading this, I am pleased to let you know that I am not interested in what ca you are driving. I am not interested in the La Senza and xixili that you purchase. I am least interested in the type of handphone you use, neither would I care if you have a rich boyfriend who looks like Hugh Jackman.

If other people aren't sick of you comparing, I am. Please live your own life. Or probably you just cannot stop comparing. Maybe you just like to feel superior because you have the best that money can buy. But you never lived. Never. Never lived for your own self. Just wanted to outdo everyone and belittle others. You have done so well to many others, but as much as others want to keep up with you, I want to tell you that I am sick of bothering about your life, your whimsical fancies, your I-am-better-than-you-biatch attitude and all.....

I am happy that you do not have my phone number and I am not willing to invite you to my wedding. Why invite a person who wants to steal the spotlight? Oh yeah, spotlight will make your make up melt, darling. If you want, I'll personally get HELLA lighting for your car on your wedding so you can have all the spotlight in the world.

We don't need another person coming up to us and say, 'Wah... so pretty ah... You must come to my wedding next month at this place. The ballroom upstairs is bigger, food is more grand. We have abalone and shark's fin as well, you know? Very expensive. I didn't invite other cheapskate friends. Just you only leh.'....... Don't think I don't know your way of selling yourself.

If I get a bag from Braun Buffel, she would get a bag from LV because it much more expensive. Why would such people even exist? As if capitalism isn't bad enough. We have mini capitalists around, just hoping to show off to feel better about themselves. Please wake up. It doesn't mean that we are driving a Proton now, we are doomed to only own locally assembled cars. By the way, leads me to the next thing. Did you know that Proton car doors have a more solid sound when it is closed as compared to your tin can car? Thanks for looking down on ours by the way..... Try smashing into a Vios. It is not as hardy as you think it is.... And take a Waja and roll it down a ravine. My husband's car club member survived with just scratches and cuts, even when his car had no air bags......

There is no such thing as money is enough

Hate this post?

Me too..... But money will never be enough. If it was, Donald Trump will stop doing all he is out to do. Richard Branson will not waste more brain cells. Our big corporate companies will just decide to take it slow for Q4 sales.

Dreaming and hoping for all these to happen?

Fat hope. Human beings are greedy. They are hungry for more. Give a child a sweet when you have 3 different flavours. Chances are, if the child is brave enough to ask you, he/she will ask for all 3 flavours to try.

Want more money?

Everyone wants more. And thanks to that, we are all suffering from inflation. More money, our money is becoming 'bigger' but the value of RM10 totally decreased itself to only mean a meal for two at Old Klang Road, or one person's meal with a simple drink at Mc Donalds (not during lunch hour... hahaa)

Gone were the days where 30sen was all we needed for a plate of mi goreng? Remember those days? A loaf of bread was less than RM1.50. Now, close to RM3. Twice the amount.

Our fathers were paid probably RM1300 when they first started their jobs. We are paid RM2000 at our present times. But prices of our necessity is so much more than the amount we are getting as our monthly income.

Screw the 'I want to travel every year' idea. You are just there to work till the day you die. All the money you have saved over the years for your child, they will spend and splurge as they want. All their tuition fees, ballet class, piano class, art class, more tuition classes, stupid milk with too much DHA to make your child 'smart' and give you high blood pressure..

Sometimes, because of money, some people just stop living. Stop living because they are convinced that for their entire lives, they will never be rich enough to own bungalows and big cars. They just stop dreaming bigger because they feel more hurt inside.

I feel hurt not because my hubby is driving a nice red car. But I feel hurt because he wants to buy a bigger car but he has to pay for the house and he doesn't want me to pay for anything at all. What's the use of me even working and saving up? It's not like I will be doomed to get x amount for 20 years, right? If it was the case, why don't I just quit working?

I hate the prospect of money ruining people's lives.

And I hate it more when people become competitive in a way that they want to compare what they have and what you have.

Get a life.

I love my small red car. I love my 606 sq feet home. At least I know my husband is paying a 5-yr loan for the car and we are not renting an apartment. No point driving a big car when we take 9-yr loan. After all, with terrible road conditions and irresponsible car manufacturers claiming that they produce 'good' tin can cars and selling it at exorbitant prices. nah, 100km is still 100km. Mileage doesn't change just because I drive a BMW. 100km is still the same. I pay more petrol for the same distance. Highway speed limit is still 110kmh in malaysia....

Screw the world...

Grass is always greener on the other side.....

When you are on one side of the lawn, you will always feel the other side of the lawn is better. Grass there is greener, looks more tame, feels more tame and fresher as compared to the side you're in.

You decided to hop from your lawn into the other lawn. Yay! I have finally managed to cross my ugly patch of yellowish lawn into this awesomely green lawn.

After exploring for awhile, you want OUT...... GOSH! My 'greener pasture' has SNAKES, WASPS, LEECHES etc etc etc........

You jump back into your lawn with one annoying leech falling off after filling its belly with your diabetically-sweet blood.

You look at the wound while sitting on your yellowish grass, laughing about how silly you have been, lusting over the greenery on the other side of the lawn. You grow to appreciate the yellowish grass you have in your lawn.....



I wish I could feel that now. Or, as always. People are always not contented with what they have. If we were, we'd still be cavemen by now. Well, at least we'd still have natural shelter. But no, I prefer my fan and aircon, and my little lembu kids. Moo.....

When we were dating, I always wished we were married. And when we got married, it was like the best thing that ever happened in our lives. And of course, with a happy occasion like us registering ourselves as lawfully wedded couple, we had our fair share of 'friends' who of course, were green with envy. Envying isn't that bad, but trying to compare yourself with others all the time, feeling shitty about your life and writing things to bring another person down just because they are younger than you and they got married first is just not the way it should be.

Probably these people should see marriage as a blissful thing, at the same time, a huge compromise.

Not only for Matt who had to adjust from living in a 606sq feet apartment comfortably to living in hostility with his wife's mountain of goodies at home. Oh man, my husband suffers because he loves me. I just have too much craft items at home. But of course, taking concerted effort to donate/give it all away. You know how hard it is to do such things, right?

He had his fair share, I have mine too. Mine is not really about adjusting to the space constraint. He bought us a bigger space! yay! Nearer to the office. My office, that is. Thank God for an awesome husband.....

But of course, being 23 years old, I want to be able to travel around the world. I have friends traveling around, taking pictures of the Rocky Mountain, probably going to the Alps soon. Sending postcards to her family members whenever she sets foot in a new place.

I want to be able to take on a high-flying corporate job that requires be to slog from 8am till midnight and pay me bazookas to blow Malaysia up into pieces. Just kidding. But yes, fat paychecks. A lecturer introduced me to a very good job in the heart of KL. But of course, being together means having to compromise.

I hate it when people used to ask my hubby (2 years back) what I was doing. Like, hello? I was 21 and I have to of course, study hard for my paper qualification, right? Not to mention, I don't quite study hard because there's just that much literature we have. Others involved brain cells and more video shooting. My life was just as sucky as other teenage kid's life. Poor hubby had to answer, 'oh, she's in the final year now. Graduating next year' or somewhat like that. And those judgmental aunty/uncle will go, 'oh... i see....' and turn away, probably feeling embarrassed that they asked the question or because they feel that my hubby was a 'cradle-snatcher'. Gosh, sometimes I wish I could just cut off the tongues of these people and toast it, serve it to them between 2 slices of oatmeal bread :) healthy! Eat ya own tongue, mofo....

But then again, being married and all, they expect you to be more 'mature'. Since when maturity came with marriage? If it was so, I would have sold my little cousins to be married so they won't pour pee into the water  container and serve it to guests. They will grow out of their childish acts and act as a man/woman. Wow... The power of marriage! ptui... Like it's really going to happen.

But this is what I really want to say,

Grass may look greener on the other side, because that is the 20% you want to have in life.

Grass may be yellow and pale on your side, but it has 80% of the things you need in life.

Don't go on envying your neighbour's 20% green grass on the other side of the world. He has to deal with snakes, leeches and gnashing + teeth grinding creatures in his beautiful lawn. He may look proud of his green lawn, but we don't know what secrets they are hiding. Attempting to jump into their side of the green lawn may result in .................................. (fill the blanks with your own answers).

Don't dump the 80% of what you have for the 20%.

I have my 80% already, even though it is in bits and pieces, but at least it is still worth my time....

WORLD's vs. Worst

OMG...

Can I actually quote this?

I know I shouldn't but then..... Okay, will not write it all out. But this is a small fragment of the story....


CHINESE people in general who are chinese educated (not all) have a tendency to not be able to pronounce English words properly.

[is it me, or it is my mistake that i am generalizing... my bad, but this is so my opinion]

I was so shocked that they can even mix up the simplest words ever......

We had a product that required them to say "World's........." [basically to say that the product is the best in the world].... And I had a few people who came up and said "Worst ..........."!!!

Can you imagine having a staff in your company [imagine you own one] saying your world's best product is the 'worst product' ever to be launched in the market?

Gosh.... Polish up on your English, darlings! I promise I will polish up on my Mandarin too! I already can read more than 600 chinese characters already...... hahaha....

Patience

Patience is a virtue.

And we human beings will never be perfect.

I realized today that my patience will wear off at silly things and at the wrong moments in my life. Being on track to doing my job better and better each day, I feel that I am getting more frustrated instead. Rather than learning the ropes quickly, I became more demanding. I had higher expectations of myself (which is good) but at the same time, involuntarily had higher expectations for the others as well.

Ever since young, I have never been a very patient person, with people of course. Foul tempered, blabber mouth, whatever it is, I used to be that.

I lose my temper as easily as the number of times you say 'and' in your sentences.

But being 23, I have mellowed down a lot. After getting married, maybe. Occasionally get stressed up by my uber-smart-yet-silly husband who does amazing things but yet can mix colored clothings with white clothings in one bucket to be soaked. I can feel my blood pressure rising at the thought of that.

But heck, life as a married couple is filled with ups and downs.

But PATIENCE. This one thing, I find it really hard to be patient.

I didn't know I had that look on my face (read: omfg.... i tell you so many times, you still don't know?!)

I didn't pro-actively say it out. But I guess, the girl was that good in reading expressions. She wasn't mentally fast / agile as me. But another thing she had (God's fair, oh man....) was the gift of telling what you really think/feel.

I felt really bad after that. Even though I did not raise my voice but I was indeed choking with impatience already, I had to remain calm and explain 20 times more.

After telling her for so many times about something and she didn't remember (its like, not remembering that you are a girl and you're 23 years old this year) I guess my patience really wore off although I tried to hide it. Then she suddenly looked at me and apologized. Said things that really pricked my heart....

Pricked not because I treated her badly. But pricked because I knew that she knew I was losing patience. And she apologized.

She even told me that I was a good trainer but she just cannot remember everything. And from the look in her eyes, I can see frustration with herself too. And never in my life I felt so wrecked with guilt.

I accept the fact that people are born differently. If you are average, there are 50% people better than you and the other 50% is below. You win some, you lose some. Life's unfairly fair, so let's suck it up and deal with it.

But naaaah... I find myself going back to square one again. Fighting with myself. I catch things very very very fast. All I need is just someone to tell me something, I can remember it. (minus groceries or your name, I suck at remembering those). I never liked coaching people who just don't get it. Even in school, i get annoyed by students in class who would always ask stupid questions that a 5 year old might be able to answer, let alone be bogged down by just one person who needed so much attention just to learn something. I never understood why people never knew how to read maps. I get annoyed if people lose their way to my home. I get pissed if I have to teach my student 1001 times on how to make a beautiful round ball and only to find them making wrinkled up ovals or shit-like shapes when I get back. How funny life is, to make me learn patience through very drastic ways.

Then I realized something.

We all have our own flaws.

I am messy. I hate getting myself organized, as I hate re-tidying my things up after people especially myself.

And the girl, she's neat and very meticulous.

Rich or poor?

Just think about it as a way to describe something.

For example... Full or Empty.

The word 'full' is always understood as 'reaching the brim' or 'towards the maximum mark' or even the feeling of having a lot of food in your tummy.

Empty always describes that something that has nothing that it was supposed to contain. A coin box, an empty heart without love and affection, or even the empty room with nothing besides the 4 walls.

The word RICH and POOR too, have the luxury of being interpreted in this manner.

But no... The world chooses to think that 'RICH' means people with a lot of money to spend. "POOR" would almost automatically qualify those with meager paychecks and those from rural areas as such...

But what we do not see is the fact that RICH can be used to describe the fullness (abundance) of that particular something in a given space. For example, the rich creamy taste of Coffeemate. And richness of someone can also cover aspects like their kindness, gentleness, goodness (etc....)

whereas.... POOR may also be used for people who are lacking of time (e.g. time poor people living in metropolitan cities like Kuala Lumpur where their lives are surrounded by the endless traffic jams even during the weekends) or basically to express how little a person have (e.g. poor in spirit, poor in hope, poor in studies, poor in being able to comprehend what I am saying right now )

But the general people will still refer Rich/Poor to the monetary aspect, nothing else ... Not because they voluntary wanted to... Rather, we've been ingrained to think that way.

Fight that thought..... :)

One thing you can ask for

If there is ONE thing you can ask for... What will you want?





I used to wish for double eye lids because I truly understand the bane of being single eye-lidded, fat/chubby and ugly.

I wished to be slim and pretty like a model...

I badly wanted to have beautiful and glamorous curly hair that you see in the movies....

I wanted sooo badly to be a singer even though I croak sometimes

I wanted to be really talented in music but quickly threw the idea out when I saw how people trained in order to be the best :( (yucks.. i hate practicing)

There are just tooooo much I want in life that deviated me from what I truly want in my life.....



It would sound darn mushy (not to mention, yucks!) if I were to openly declare "SCH! It's you I ever wanted in my life" although definitely it would have been that.... but...

I want to be able to look at everything I have and at every night, before I go to bed, I say a silent prayer to thank the omnipresent being for not deciding to pull the plug on me and allowing me to have what I have now.

I may not be able to walk into the LV store and get myself that ugly looking LV-macam-pasar-malam bag. I may not be able to afford that document bag from Braun Buffel (RM999) and I am stinging on my money when it comes to replacing my old & always-hang-gila-mau-mampoi phone......

But with all those I forfeited, I guess I need to look back and think of all the things I have in my life that makes me live comfortably. Living rent-free, petrol-charges-free and free breakfast & dinner. It is an amazing life.

One friend told me before that she heard a boy from a rural area (during a camp) say, his greatest wish is to be able to step into KFC and have a meal there.

We laugh at it because it really sounds silly. But to them, the financially-poor children in rural area, it is not funny. It depicts their social status and what they have been deprieved of just because they were born into their family.

But at the same time, with 10 siblings, of course the fun they have in the streams and rivers in a kampung is  so much better as compared to the boringness a child from KL who has alot of toys and no siblings would ever have.

It is always a matter of perspective :)

As I thought to myself...

Everything that happens..... It all happens for a reason :)

I do not know much about the wheel of life. I don't know if God really exists. I never met Alexander the Great, neither do I know Tunku Abdul Rahman in person....

But if there is one thing I know, I am having a relatively good life.

Life's enough to drive people bonkers. And everyone is always seeking for that 20% that is missing in their lives and they forget about the 80% that they already have.

If everyone digs deeper into the 80% they have and give/share it with the people around, they might be able to share the 20% others are seeking for an in return, gain that 20% from those whom they share..

But of course... If life was supposed to be this way, we would not have needed policemen to roam around the streets neither would we lock our doors with 10 different latches and padlocks. Probably Yale would not have even existed if it really happened.

And so...

Conclusion is...

Everything happens for a reason. Even the existence of companies manufacturing security locks!

Today...

Today.....

I've learnt such great lesson......

Something that will stay with me for eternity...

Never underestimate the ability of the elder people.
They do not perform at an optimal level not because they are unable to.....
Rather.... It is because they never pushed themselves harder because they know what to prioritize...


But if they do....


They win because they are physically stronger...
But it is because they are mentally wiser....

- Michelle @ Cosmic Bowl Midvalley [2nd November 2010]