Give me that part of MY LIFE back!!!

Sometimes you'd just feel like screaming to the world. Just ask everyone to just shut up. Or do something like that.

You just cannot take the sound of the ticking clock, reminding you that time is of the essence.

You are reminded of a new day when the cock crows in the morning.

You are repeatedly being sent reminder e-mails about the upcoming meeting you have and those freakish deadlines you have to meet, however impossible it is.

Wouldn't you just want to put a FULL STOP or just press that EMERGENCY STOP button to your life?

I would like to do that right now.

Finding it hard to breathe when the time flies. Finding it tougher to get things done as I am growing 'up'. Finding it even harder when people start looking at me and expecting me to be more 'mature'.

But then alas, we have no control over what other people say, do or whatever else they are capable of.

All I wish is for my own self to just SIT AND THINK of what I really want to do in life. We are automatons, created to be robotic, repetitive and expected to deliver things fast. We are created to be able to troubleshoot everything, take care of everything and ensure that everything goes smoothly in our lives. One person slips up, you step in to deal with it. And live happily ever after, like those people in the movies.

But you know what?

This is not life at all. It is just a painting of life that the rich wants. After all, the 20% benefits from the hard work put in by the 80%. In life, there is no longer loyalty, friendship etc.

Remember those times you called your friends?

Hello? Eh, HI! How are you? By the way... [your true intentions here]

We are all fake. we lie. and we are not proud of it. and yet we do it again and again. when we try to embrace truth, it hurts too much that we just squeeze ourselves back into our snail shell. Hoping to let it shelter us from the storm.

but it will never change us unless we step up and see things in Black and White. Gray area f*cks with your mind. Lawyers make your life miserable by treading on that thin line. We end up becoming liars forever.

Please give me that part of my life back. That one where innocence, happiness and sanity ruled. Not something I have now, where I have to lie to tell the people I deal with that I am holding up well. I am sick of smiling when all I want to do is to jump at you and strangle you to death. I hate being afraid of you and be nice to you because I know that if I am not nice to you, you will murder my husband.

Life's a lie. A very big lie indeed.

Please let me have that part of life I once owned BACK :(