Sunday, April 3, 2011

The Apocalypse?

"There will come a time where you'll not be blaming others for what they've done and expect the offenders only to be punished. On that fateful day, everyone will be punished. Whether you're sinful as a guilty criminal or as sinless as an innocent baby, you will have to face the wrath of the day to come. This is what we get for pushing the blame and responsibility around without lifting our fingers for the greater good"
 The day will finally arrive, sooner than imagined.

But we human beings are good at distracting ourselves, telling ourselves that the fateful day will never come. Rather than to think of the 'what if it really happens and what should we do to avoid that from happening', we are instead trying to find more excuse to do more things for the sake of being materially contented.

As if the movie 2012 is not scary enough. As if the Word is not scary enough. And the recent changes in climate, shifting of what was supposedly 'normal' to become something absolutely different. Are we really imbeciles so much as we are not able to read the signs?

Even if you don't agree with me, it does not matter anyway...

In our current lives, maybe it is easy for us to pinpoint at other people and blame one another for doing something to get another person in hot soup. We catch criminals and expect them to face the music. We apprehend thieves and robbers, we accuse politicians of their bigger sins and we like to look at ourselves as 'victims of circumstance'. Very few people take it upon themselves to live righteously, because the standard reply would only be, 'why bother? The world's a dog-eat-dog society. We have to fight back. Let them see who is stronger'...

Yes, we are still fighting. Maybe some still do fight physically, but nowadays, 'civilized' people resort to fighting via indirect manners (i.e. going to court, using sophisticated words to belittle another person, making sniper attacks at the person(s) who annoyed him/her earlier during the Board Meeting, purposely dumping their shares just to crash a newly-listed company and many more)... We are still fighting, with our brains.

We are still living in the Dark Ages when it comes to Social Responsibility. Forget Corporate Social Responsibilities (CSRs), these are just PR / politically-motivated ploys to show how 'good' companies are but in actual fact, are riding on the media to give them more coverage/visibility. Such is the capitalist world we live in right now. We've to a certain extent, thank Pulitzer & Hearst, paving the way of using sensationalism and yellow journalism, inspiring varying degrees of yellow-ness in today's media. That's just one part of the varying truth we are 'forced' to accept in our 'modern' Dark Age life now. Not everyone cares about the poor cat on the street. Wait a minute, I mean, more people actually care about that hungry cat on the street than the 'useless beggar sitting at the roadside'... Same ol' excuse, 'he's got hands, why can't he work?' ... Smarto... Will you employ him/her? Easier said than done!

Ask yourself a question: When a lorry passes by your vehicle, emitting black smoke, what do you mutter?

Chances are, your answer might just be similar to mine! 'Curses... Why don't your *** company send your lorries for servicing and inspection so you won't dirty my brand new car?'

See, I am as shallow as some of you guys too, especially when I am angry. That only made me more human, which I regret for the most part of my life. Submitting myself to only be able to carry out the duties of being a human being with humanly condemned flaws .....

We love to blame others. Who doesn't? It feels good to shift it to someone! Even if it is our fault, blatantly. Most lawyers will secretly feel the pinch if they are defending the guilty-but-i-have-money-to-fight-this case people. After all, the person with the louder voice, bigger frame or more money is the 'ultimate' winner regardless of whether he/she was at fault in the first place.

What is justice with the legal system anyway? A place where we can find more loopholes to evade being hunted like an outlaw?

Or rather, it was meant to be the SAVING GRACE for people who had the evil 'God' whom Capitalists swears by all the time, MONEY?

It is funny how the world is coming to an end and we are just not even bothered to repent, ask for forgiveness, pray and change ourselves to be at least a teeeeny weeeeny bit better? Rather than doing that, we have the sudden increase in property prices. Malaysian economics are just too weird. Makes no cow sense at all to the monetarily/materially-poor people. But it does make some lembu-sense to those with bucks to spare. The rich gets richer through manipulation, not exactly through hard work and honesty.

Reminds me of a joke I read a long time ago.
( "Here lies Strange, both a lawyer and an honest man") 
--> oh, you mean there are 2 people? That's just Strange!

We all play a big part in ensuring that we all get another living minute on the already-crashing Earth. I don't think Martians are invading. Our Navy/army/troops and nuclear weapon systems might probably scare them away. But not the coming of that Omnipresent one. And no, this OMNIPRESENT person does not work in Damansara Perdana. (lembu-shit -- but that's a separate matter altogether...)

We do not live and co-exist in a society nowadays. We are individualists. We do not care if we see someone being pushed while trying to board a bus. We don't try to stop a robber/snatch thief because we fear for our own safety. We do not do so much things because we have the rights to feel self-centered because others will not risk their lives to save us.

We come up with 1001 reasons to justify what we are doing. Some people resort to petty theft because they are unable to secure jobs. Of course the question would be 'is he that unworthy of being employed that he has difficulties being employed?' and when we see the situation he/she is in, we find means and ways to justify why this person 'would have turned into a victim due to physical deformities, speech impairment, language barrier etc. We are always finding ways to justify each others' actions rather than to think of something that will be beneficial to the society.

Put this all into plain context:

"If I smoke, it doesn't affect you guys, so why the freakin' fuss?"

"So what if the lorry is emitting black smoke? It is still functioning, it can carry my construction stuff here still and I get to save cost!"

"No harm in getting that piece of plastic bag. After all, there are just too many already"

"Please tapau this for me, you have those polistyrene thingey? I am too lazy to wash my wonderful Tupperware"

"Oh I see... You mean my open burning is causing your child to fall ill? Seek a health professional's advice then! I am unable to assist you.... I have too much leaves to be burnt. Are you willing to help me to dispose it then?"

"Oh... goodie.. No one is looking. Dump all those toxic waste into the river. It will alleviate our problem of paying so much to the waste management company to dispose off this 15 gallons of toxic. No problem, it's not like anyone comes to this lake anyway....."

"Japan was hit by the massive earthquake? This is a lesson we have to learn for being so cruel and invade our country years back" (i heard this from some imbecile at a bus stop while i was walking out for lunch one fine day)

"Eh, that piece of trash is sitting in the car for too long, can you please wind the window and throw it out please? It irks me to see that red plastic bag sitting there. Do it now please...."

"Oh yay! Throw oranges into Sungai Segget! I want a rich man! I wanna get married to a rich man!!"

All these (and more) are only but a fraction of problem we face. As I am sitting here, I am also causing the depletion of electricity. I am typing this while consuming so much energy, trying to say something that may ultimately mean nothing to the world. After all, 'who cares?' right?

 We are all selfish by nature. We only care for our own selves.

If someone were to do something wrong, we like to point at him/her and like to see them punished for their crime. We measure them by our own yardsticks. We like to feel superior and above others. We ultimately want to feel good about ourselves so much as we put others down just to feel better. We start subscribing to Capitalism as a religion and Money as our God. We use materials to differentiate our pseudo-status. We like to feel that we are just of 'better class' than the rest. We parade our expensive cars around while squatting in rented 600sq ft apartments.

Who are the real hypocrites? We are.... And most of the time, we are not admitting it at all.

And for what little thing we do that hurts the environment, we are also hurting the innocent ones. When that Day arrives, we are all answerable for everyone's actions. It would no longer be like the 'blame game sessions' we are still having nowadays, pushing the blame to one anothet.

When that day comes, even the young and innocent child will have to pay for our sins.

It will be collective. We are all responsible for it.

"There will come a time where you'll not be blaming others for what they've done and expect the offenders only to be punished. On that fateful day, everyone will be punished. Whether you're sinful as a guilty criminal or as sinless as an innocent baby, you will have to face the wrath of the day to come. This is what we get for pushing the blame and responsibility around without lifting our fingers for the greater good"

But too bad, not everyone will agree with me.

Btw, no offense to the lawyers. I am just too humanly lazy to include my other prejudices as well. I also have personal grudges and prejudices against Investment Bankers in general, MDs of corporate companies with children being offered scholarships when their parent(s) are earning 5-6 figure salary p.m. ,  people who drinks excessively and drives precariously but miraculously, has never been slapped with a heavy fine or jailed, people who has too much money and even he does wrong, is still out and about, people driving like aimless butt-heads, terrible women drivers taking 5 minutes to park instead of asking for help and jamming up the streets, and more. 'i am only human...'

And GOD in the above context refers to the one and almighty God of all creation, regardless of religions or in some contexts, may be referred to as sects/cults.

Thursday, March 17, 2011

Life is a joke!

Please do not easily agree with me. Neither should you totally dismiss what i am about to say (type) too fast!

But I find life a practical joke. Impractically practical. Okay, paradoxical life.

Anyway, I wonder why are we even here on Earth? Rather than, 'What on Earth are you doing here?' we should ask ourselves 'What we WE doing here on Earth?!'

Being a 'fresh grad' who suddenly plopped into a cheena-fied SME in Malaysia, I can't think of anything but 'no life'. First job upon graduation, pay scale is to the peanuts. You work like as though you are taking on 3 people's work. What are you doing on Earth? Slaving yourselves away to bring in more profit for the bigger fishes? And at the end, pay for more just to afford the big fishes' products and services?

Life is impractical. We laugh at ourselves, knowing how silly we can be and yet, still repeat the same silly mistakes. We are a big walking and talking paradox. Ironic. Or whatever words that suddenly pops up in your mind.

Why work so hard for money? Why bother impressing others? Why bother thinking about how others think about us? Isn't it just so impractical?

I am starting to get irritated when people start telling me 'wah, she is so rich.... she can afford this/that/whatever bla bla'. Like, 'okay... i am 'so interested' in your Gucci'. Get a life man! If I were to choose something, I rather choose my RM10 pasar malam handbag or those free ones that Mum gave me whenever she purchases her beauty products from Parkson. Oh yeah, these bags lasted me for like, 5 - 8 years? And they are still as beautiful as ever! Nicer than your LV-ed bag. Too much branding over it, looks so cluttered. And looks so Chee Cheong Kai - ish if you know what I am saying!

We rush and work so hard for things we don't have but want. So, are we trying to say that we have what we have and we take it all for granted and then push ourselves harder to achieve the 20% we don't have? Chances of losing the 80% we already have is so high! Sky rocketing high! But are we seeing it in this perspective? No...

We are governed by a new religion with a new 'God' now.

The new 'God' is Money and the religion is what we call it Capitalism.

Sounds familiar?

Tepuk dada tanya selera. Ask yourself, why are you subscribing to Capitalism? I am not trying to be Holier-than-Thou here but you get what I mean right? Why bother to worry about what Capitalism is trying to make us turn into, when we were instilled with 1001 moral values that we just threw out of the window at the sight of Bills. Dirty Bills. Cash. Money. Smelly and crumpled notes. Soiled notes.

We are 'worshipping' cash nowadays. Like it or not, we make it a must to think about cash everyday. Good to say good riddance to Batter Trade System, i don't produce butter anyway. But point being, we are consistently thinking of ways to earn more, disregarding the fact that with every little increase, we are killing ourselves and the less monetarily fortunate ones.

When you are poor, you feel the pinch. when you are rich, you are afraid someone may rob you. Either way, you lose. Oh people of poor faith like how you and I are. How we suffer because of what we want.

Life is really a big paradox by itself. But that does not mean we have to lose our humanity in times of trials and temptation. If you see someone fall, extend a helping hand and not point a finger and laugh at him. If you see someone in need of a friend, be that friend to this person. If people condemn you even after you have done something good, continue doing good. Chances are, they are just plainly jealous of your ability to do good. You think corporate stinko's are able to be as good as you are? Or are the mediocre fools able to see things from your perspective?

Sometimes, we know what should be done and what should not be done. We know our values. We know what is good and what is not good. But we choose not to do good if there are certain 'clauses' governing us from making that right decision. We are often at awe, looking at volunteers sacrificing themselves to do good and help other people out. We can also be a part of this team. But we choose not to.

So, at the end of the day, our own selfishness caused us yet again to be what we are. We want to be good but we are not willing to sacrifice enough to do good.

It is easier to be bad than to be good. Live with it.

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

applying for leave/holidays

2011 is a bad day for holidays for me. Even for pertinent stuff.

What to do? Responsibility increasing with each passing day. I just don't feel like sleeping sometimes [like, today... yeah]

Applying for leave is going to be tough, discounting the fact that most PH this year falls on either Saturday/Sunday. What will they do? Refund? Tough luck bro. I highly doubt so.

Getting married, renovating the house, busy trying to make an honest living, trying to rise up the ranks while doing my job well and MORE......

How can people juggle between all these and remain married? I really wonder sometimes...

Anyway, whenever my friends tell me of the wonderful weather in Korea or the awesome trip to Taiwan/China or even my fav, GREECE.... I can't help but to just tell myself to look forward to my weekend. If I am working on Saturday, I comfort myself with the fact that Sunday is a rest day that flies by too fast. Sometimes, ending up with swelling eyes on a blue Monday morning due to too much tears, weeping for stupid reasons.

It feels terrible, knowing that you're a fresh grad, and most of the time you're just like plankton in the middle of the deep blue ocean. You get eaten up by bigger fishes. And the fish gets eaten by bigger bigger fish and so on. Exponentially, it will never end,. But I cross my fingers and pray that all these mumbo jumbo will end soon.

Sometimes I wish I need not work. But I know that if I quit, my hands will get itchy and before long I'll be hired yet again!

Anyway, this job is not that bad la. I love the environment MINUS the 38 ladies who are worse than fish mongers. They are the biggest rumours-mongers i have ever seen in my entire life. or probably I am still young?

Anyway, I really want to go for my trip up 4101m but with stupidly weak knees, bye KK, bye 4101m......

I guess I have to try hard enough to tell myself that I need a break, cuz I always feel that I can still go on as others are having a rougher week as compared to myself. Pushing too hard might break my knee if not my backbone.

But I also hate the fact that people like 'comparing' paychecks or job titles. we are all fresh grads. why bother showing off to one another that we are doing 'well' when we are honestly suffering? Money might be good, but we become time-poor. Worst would be the time and money-poor people taking on crap jobs at crap companies.

I am still quite lucky. Just need to say to myself that I need a break. But I cannot. I hate myself. FML...

Renovating the house

It is not easy to renovate.Getting a place that's only 2 years old (but warranty period is over) is a headache. Couple that with 'i need to hack of all the tiles?!' headache, you're in for trouble.
But thank goodness I have a wonderful husband who is able to take care of most stuff. Working at odd shift hours have once again proven to be good. I wonder if I should jump ship too?

Back to the story....

Tiles may not be expensive, but workmanship is awesomely expensive.
Furnitures may not look expensive at the first glance, until you notice that the material used = not so good. And you start seeking for a 'better' furniture only to realize that it is the same but they charge you higher because they are in Midvalley.
Lighting and other fittings may look quite affordable if it is itemized. Sum it all up, you can laugh out loud if it does not touch RM1000 for a nice looking and affordable one.

But at the end of the day, it all boils down to whether you will like living in your new place or not. No point going for a cheaper alternative and only to think about an upgrade in only a short span of 2-3 years. Even if it means monthly installments for me. Oh well, I need to secure myself with a job for at least 2 years then....

For young friends who are reading this, it would be a good time to stash off some of those cash you've allocated for your weekly Starbucks affair, or those additional blows for something from LV/salvatore/Marc/whatever else..... Unless your parents print money (unlike mine of course or I'd be purchasing LVs without a hoot already!) it would be great to cut down on some 'additionals'. A little goes a long way.

Darn, I should have taken on 3 jobs during my university years instead of just those weekend part time ones...

Dang..... I still have the habit of calling it a house when it is sitting 2-digit high floor and away from ground zero.

New House

Yay~ New crib's gonna be done really really soon!

But of course, still would need TIME to really equip ourselves to the necessary level.

Flipping through magazines, don't you wish you can have everything they have and more? Those wonderful island with wine holders above it, those ever-glossy acrylic stuff over the doors? Oh oh... Not to mention, those awesome 2' x 2' tiles?

Wait a minute, where can I get my Alessi stuff? Or even my Royal Selangor Pewter?! (oh... not really a pewter fan though...)

We human beings have strange perception of things in life.

You may love driving big cars, show off your shiny BMW 3 series or probably get a puny little overpriced POLO. Congrats man, you've got your dream car. But I don't intend to sit in those big depreciating asset. I much rather lie dead on my wonderfully comfortable sofa and have an adorable puppy licking my nose while SCH plays his God of War on PS3.

I rather have a beautiful home but pay 2-years of installments that will drive myself almost saving-less. I don't believe in buying a make-shift item and only upgrade after 2/3 years. Amounts to more wastage at the end of the day. Nobody buys 2nd hand cheap plates.

But I am still happy.

Not because I have the world's best looking house.

Rather, I know I will have a HOME in the wonderfully simple house because HOME is where the HEART is :) and that's where my SCH will be..... yuv....

Getting Married

The idea of getting married -- does it scare you?

Oh I forgot babes. We are married, legally. So, what's the fuss right?

But of course, life's not that simple. It's just not about "i go to work, i earn my paycheck, i come home, i cook, i eat, i poop, i brush teeth and sleep, tmr morning will be a better day" and i repeat the same cycle again.

How mundane life can actually be....

But anyway, life's not about hoarding cash in your bank account. Who says money cannot buy happiness? That wonderful trip to Korea, those tiny Android phones, those oh-so-cute plushies from TY or even those stupidly-priced ROSES during Valentine's Day...... It makes you happy, doesn't it? Even though sometimes it is just not practical at all!

But what they hey?! Do something you really want to. Buy something you really like. Make yourself happy.

Get the best looking gown for your wedding too, of course! But then again, we Chinese will always go through that annoying part in life called 'what will other people think?'........

Sometimes I think marriage is a bane. It is annoying, it gives me the creeps knowing that my life requires some 'cap SIRIM' approval from some people I never knew existed. Not to mention, people who tak ada kena mengena in our lives. Oh, so you mean you existed? Oh that's great!! (whispers: who the heck is that aunty? she didn't just call me fat aye?)

Maybe I am just scaring myself too much. Maybe it is not that scary after all..........

Ever enough?

Ever had that feeling that you will never have enough time? Or even enough money, or even something as stupid as 'not enough toilet tissue paper leh' feeling?

I am really trying to kick my awesome habit of 'I just want to think I am busy so I don't need to do anything!' and get on with my life, doing things that I really need to do.

Maybe I should stop complaining silently in my head but say it out loud so someone will come over and knock me on my head when they notice I am slacking again........

But of course, only happens when I am at home.

And what the heck, I don't get to come home before 8:30pm every freaking weekday. Considered quite a bargain as compared to SOME companies. But yeah, traffic jam is awful considering the fact that Perodua should just be voted off the country for introducing 0% downpayment and awesomely idiotic interest rate and 9-yr loans for young punks who are not even fit to maneuver a remote control car, let alone drive on busy roads like the North-South highways.

Nothing against Myvis... But don't you think there are just too many accidents?

Ahh.... This is life.... :(

And no, life's never enough.... so before you say enough is enough, think again... Will you say 'money/time is enough'?

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Owning a property

Not really a 1001% pleasant thing. Although deep down inside, I know that the end result will nullify all the bad experiences.

Anyway, let's just say that we have to HACK OFF the tile that took up 1/3 of our new home! Oh yay! Did we mention that it might cost RM6000 just to retile that part back?

Besides that, purchasing a condominium with no strata title (yet) is such a hassle to the point where you want to change window/doors but you are not allowed because these fixtures are not allowed to be changed until we get the strata title.

You mean, we are all going to have the SAME DOOR, SAME WINDOW, SAME COLOR?

Oh thank goodness we can change our grilles :)

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Raising Children

Not a very easy task. Being a parent, a heavier responsibility.

But unfortunately, most people do not see it this way anymore. We all fail to see the difference in each individual.

One person may love to eat mango, another just hates oranges and another swears by watermelon. We have different tastes at different times. I won't take pineapple for breakfast, neither will I have durian right before I sleep. But some people I heard of took Coke and durian with chicken rice.

Anyway, back to the topic of having children. What frustrates me most is the fact that there are just too many people asking us when we are deciding on having a baby. Like, seriously? Chinese wedding & Church ceremony is not over yet, I do not expect a baby to pop up in between planning. Might even suffer a miscarriage if I tried. Some people just don't think, do they? After all, most of them were men jabbering the poor husband when he was going to be a father.

Of course, the issue of 'wife/husband unable to have kids' remain sensitive, despite the Earth going to a standstill. Ever heard of people saying, 'you know, his wife is barren... cannot have their own kids one leh'... Oh, like you didn't know, it is pretty normal for women/men to be infertile nowadays. Worse still, some couples are humiliated because they just did not want to have kids in 5 years time and people started talking behind their backs about how the wife is supposedly unable to reproduce. And yes, after that, this family suddenly had 7 kids. And I happened to be a proud friend to one of  their child :)

Human beings are just evil.

Raising children these days, they just scare me. Piano classes, ballet, guitar class, gym, aerobics, art, music, typing, computer, english, BM, mandarin, german, french, japanese (forgive the non-capital letters, sick of caps-ing all)................ don't kids these day have rest at all?

5 times more DHA? Oh come on..... How did we all survive without those DHA thingey in the past? We were alright, could even score 100% in subjects and made our parents proud without drinking those DHA-filled milk.

Oh, btw, didn't you know that our body can also produce/take in needed nutrients?

Nah, may don't know. Children nowadays may seem lucky, but in fact they are too 'lucky' that they have never seen worms in real life, neither have they bathed in streams, gotten bee stings and recuperating from a swollen cheek, kickboxing with friends of other race/religions together without t-shirts, and many other things that kampung kids have but they don't.....

Raising children these days became a competition. Parents use their kids to compare with others just to feel more superior than another. "Oh, my Gavin scored 100% in Math, what about your Michelle?"

I love mum for always replying, 'my children are all very stupid one la. No need to compare'....

Anyway, I don't score 100% on an average basis, but I still delivered my A's. Not good enough? 80% of my friends, if they knew I hated to be compared with these people, they would have thrown eggs at these few idiots.

As a child during the 80s/90s, we already had so much to deal with. What more now? And education is not free in our friggin' country. What's worse than paying for little kid's university fees? Yeah, purchase another study plan for my kid and donate RM100/month to one of these insurance companies only for them to go bust. Or to only find that our kid doesn't want to study anymore due to too much pressure.

Kids have Nursery, K1 K2 in kindergarten classes? OMG! I only entered kindy at 6 and of course by 7 was in a school already! What happened to the 5-year old kid spending time with mommy to bake cookies and messing up the kitchen in the process?

That's it. I will quit my job and take care of Mervyn/Melanie/whoever these idiots will be (my kids) to avoid them being spoilt by maids. And I shall home-school them till probably 6 and send them to primary 1 after that.

my fear

Hey! Everyone's entitled to some fear in life, right?

Not the fear of heights, cockroaches or what not. Rather, the fear I have right now is the fear of uncertainty.

It is true that nobody is perfect, but with so much imperfections in our lives, we cannot help but to wonder what lies ahead.

The world's getting more screwed up, day by day. More kids cursing their parents and their parents being powerless over their kids. More middle-finger worshippers on the roads. More ball-less and brain-less people making decisions for the 'greater good' or so they think it should be.

All these things, they scare me. What if the economy crashes? What if USD dips to the point of no return? What if all nations suffer because of a bad economic downturn? What if the Earth moves out of its line and hits a meteor bigger than the moon?

There are just too many things to worry about.

You know what? Just grab a cuppa refreshing lemon drink and sip. Forget about it. The world will end, even how hard we fight to survive. Armageddon, 2010, whatchamacallit...

Doesn't really matter anyway. But what what really matters more is the current things that you have now. Your family, friends, people around you. Begging for forgiveness might sound a little too desperate. But rather, we probably could do something nice for another person? At least even if today is the last day on Earth for us all, we are still able to make one person smile.

Are you ready to live LIFE? Let go of everything and say that you are ready to die?

That day you openly profess that you are ready to die, that will  be the real day you start living....