applying for leave/holidays

2011 is a bad day for holidays for me. Even for pertinent stuff.

What to do? Responsibility increasing with each passing day. I just don't feel like sleeping sometimes [like, today... yeah]

Applying for leave is going to be tough, discounting the fact that most PH this year falls on either Saturday/Sunday. What will they do? Refund? Tough luck bro. I highly doubt so.

Getting married, renovating the house, busy trying to make an honest living, trying to rise up the ranks while doing my job well and MORE......

How can people juggle between all these and remain married? I really wonder sometimes...

Anyway, whenever my friends tell me of the wonderful weather in Korea or the awesome trip to Taiwan/China or even my fav, GREECE.... I can't help but to just tell myself to look forward to my weekend. If I am working on Saturday, I comfort myself with the fact that Sunday is a rest day that flies by too fast. Sometimes, ending up with swelling eyes on a blue Monday morning due to too much tears, weeping for stupid reasons.

It feels terrible, knowing that you're a fresh grad, and most of the time you're just like plankton in the middle of the deep blue ocean. You get eaten up by bigger fishes. And the fish gets eaten by bigger bigger fish and so on. Exponentially, it will never end,. But I cross my fingers and pray that all these mumbo jumbo will end soon.

Sometimes I wish I need not work. But I know that if I quit, my hands will get itchy and before long I'll be hired yet again!

Anyway, this job is not that bad la. I love the environment MINUS the 38 ladies who are worse than fish mongers. They are the biggest rumours-mongers i have ever seen in my entire life. or probably I am still young?

Anyway, I really want to go for my trip up 4101m but with stupidly weak knees, bye KK, bye 4101m......

I guess I have to try hard enough to tell myself that I need a break, cuz I always feel that I can still go on as others are having a rougher week as compared to myself. Pushing too hard might break my knee if not my backbone.

But I also hate the fact that people like 'comparing' paychecks or job titles. we are all fresh grads. why bother showing off to one another that we are doing 'well' when we are honestly suffering? Money might be good, but we become time-poor. Worst would be the time and money-poor people taking on crap jobs at crap companies.

I am still quite lucky. Just need to say to myself that I need a break. But I cannot. I hate myself. FML...