Recently, or what I meant, In the middle of March 2010, I was interviewed by TV3 on i-Clay. And subsequently appeared on TV on a kid's TV programme I never heard of, and got a friend, or rather, a neighbour dropping me a post on FB to tell me that he saw 'teacher michelle' on TV.
I was like, "Oh? Really? I didn't know!" but heck, now I do. But anyway, back to the story of my sad and demotivating life story.
This event changed my perception of myself. Although slowly, it did make me feel more like a 'teacher' although I know many reading my blog would otherwise think I am just either a blabber-machine gun, a 'never serious in her entire life' person, the foul-hokkien-mouthed b***h or rather, just the plain old, "there she goes again with her long long road motherly nags". Seriously, people told me that. But of course in front of different people, I am different. But then, that doesn't change the subject matter here.
Couldn't quite care about what people actually think about me but then again, here's the deal. With me being 'unwillingly but yeah, who else?' chosen to represent the clay company (it belongs to a Korean couple and the TV programme was in Bahasa Melayu) and my kids on that day was either a latino darling or a chinese girl, both aged 6. Speaking in BM or even, speaking coherently at all was pretty hard to expect from them. So they went ahead with me.
I felt the difference in myself after that incident. Like, how many times on earth do you, a normal civilian, get yourself in front of a TV screen for that something you do really well?
I am no Neil Buchanan on Art Attack, neither am I Oprah Winfrey hosting some audience-loves-you-Oprah show that will never fail to make you cry. I was just that NOTHING, like the air we breathe. You don't see it, you cannot catch it and it doesn't really matter to you because you take it for granted. Yes I was invisible.
But then.... From that incident, people started telling me things like "wah, you're on TV for what you do best? That's awesome! If i have a kid, I'd ensure he or she goes to your class and nobody else's". It was a complement, truly it was. I even had teachers telling me that they wanted to learn from me, which I thought was quite a surprise because they were distinguished and talented teachers in art and craft and some even in sculpting. It really made me feel wonderful.
Finally I saw myself on the same page as Matt's. We have our core competency. And mine was in the finer and detailed side of life, whereas his was more mechanically and technically inclined. And between you and me, I find his harder to understand. Its just filled with red tapes, more rules and law to memorize whereas mine's just 'whatever you like and you think looks nice, it will do'.
At the end of the day, I am only happy because of one thing. I am glad that the people who knew me for who I am and who supports me, thank you. Because, all it takes is just to have a person like you having faith and never giving up hope in me that makes me want to go for what I am good at.
And special thanks to the darling who always had my back, through thick and thin and ups and downs of my life. I love you, BWC!
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