Broader Perspective

A friend and I were discussing a lot on the aspect and the very aesthetics and essence of being a human being.

What is tolerable? Good qualities and moral values?

YES and NO at the same time.

Remember, we were never born equal.

You may disagree with me, but I believe in karma although I like to exploit the concept a little and douse some people with gasoline and light a match. But I can never bear to throw the match. And all these are metaphorically speaking of course, I don't even dare to touch a raw piece of chicken drumstick let alone burn a person alive.

Anyway, this is my 2 cent's worth on the subject.

Jen: What do you think should all human being have?
Me: Anything that a human being could possibly have.
Jen: I mean, like the qualities... Good, bad, etc...
Me: Wah.. Very hard to decide leh. Got good, got bad.
Jen: Choose lah!
Me: Nah.. Let them choose to be who they wanna be. So what about you since you popped the question?
Jen: A person should be honest, trustworthy, responsible, loving, caring, understanding .......... (and the usual oh-Mr. Mc. Dreamy quality)
Me: Definitely doesn't sound like a human being to me. Definitely not.
Jen: Thats why I asked you about your ideals.
Me: Oh.. Like this ah? Why don't we let them be as imperfect as they have always been?
Jen: eeeyer... U ah.. I don't understand you la. Stand up for the rights of another human being but still want them to be like this. Aiyo.... Make your stand clear!
Me: If i can do something to help, I will. If I can change myself and I really want to and put effort to do it, I will achieve it. But if something is beyond my control, I let Him decide. And I do not preach about my religion like many other people like. So, you happy now?
Jen: Whatever lah. I hate people telling me about religion la. Really lah, tell me what you hope to be ideal in this world?
Me: Everyone can grow to be about the same height and stop there. Then we can really see the difference with the same yardstick. Happy or not?
Jen: Don't want to talk about this already la. You like such an imperfect world. My feet is big, nose is fat and flat...... (usual self-criticism carries on for 5 minutes)
Me: (Rolls eyes) I also have the same problem ok......
Jen: At least your hair is straight and your skin is good.... Not like me.. Acne
Me: At least you don't have half the world hating you and taking advantage of you and then call you fat. You're stick thin, something they like..
Jen: My legs are too bony...
Me: Let's just come to a conclusion lah
Jen: Ya. I hate myself.
Me: I guess I am hating myself too (mumbles to self 'because I cannot tell you straight to the face about your problem, I am frustrated... grrr....')
Jen: Har??!
Me: Nothing la. Just reprimanding myself for not being able to do something.
Jen: Good. Keep it up. One day you will realize your mistakes and deal with it
Me: (adui...)

From this lenghty conversation (words modified a little but storyline is still the same) I saw something I didn't see before...

Myself in the past. Always arguing with 1001 other idealistic and pessimistic people. Our different thoughts.... I always wanted to live in this priceless utopia where only happiness loomed everyday and cursed my wretched life for being cursed. And needless to say, it really felt wretched and broken, shattered and cursed.

But after getting a very understanding person like Matt, I began to see things in a different light. It was more like, "You must make a decision on your own. Must make sure what you do, you will be able to bear the consequences". I remembered what Ernie once said, "whatever choice you make, there will be consequences" and Annie told me (my little student), "no decision is also a decision, right teacher?". Mash these two together, one from a serial entrepreneur and another from a young 8 year old child. I saw something I never saw before.

"Do not sit on a fence. Make a decision and face it. Either way you take, there are consequences"

You are darn right!

And apparently, I have been wasting 22/23 years of life just trying to decode something that was tough but yet, always in front of me. What the hell is equality? What the hell is fairness?

Nothing in this world is fair. But of course, it all boils down to our personal characteristics and the way we handle a situation. Sometimes its like the times in our class where our teacher will hand us a 'situation' and we are supposed to resolve the issue. it is also like this. You don't know what will come. Some, because of your mistake/decision and most of the time, it happened because of another person's action.

You are defined by the way you handle the situation itself. If my friends do not believe in my ability to do A, B and C, I have a choice of walking away and give the middle finger (my ultimate favorite but naaah. Got past that already), I can stay and convince them with words and do nothing after that. Or show them what I am worth by providing the needed 'results'. And so far, I guess I want to maintain the positivity of the outcome of my actions. And yes, you get alot of sick and jealous people trying to 'doubt' and 'cast dark shadows' unto you and your ability because of inferiority complex. But would that really matter in the long run, if you are good? Not really! After all, they might be just a tiny speck of dust. And whoever say that everyone in the world likes Oprah Winfrey and whoever said that everyone in the world hates Simon Cowell?

We have different things in life. Live life well. Love each other. Help if you can. Say thank you and give credits to those who did their part to help you. Encourage each other. Give before you receive. Trust yourself first before giving trust to others. And trust others first before you expect them to trust you. Understand other people's way of life, differences in cultures and expectations.

Give before you receive. Ask if you do not know. Help another person if he or she does not know what to do. Ask what you can do for the world instead of asking what the world can do for you (Thanks Puan Gracie for this memorable phrase during the wonderful days in IJ Convent JB. Hope ur recovering well). Love everyone like they are your flesh and blood. Look out for one another. Stand up for your friends if they are righteous. Pull them aside and slowly explain to them their mistakes if they have done something wrong. Do not humiliate others in public. You will never know that one day this person will wind up being your boss/your child's teacher/ or whoever who has the power to do it unto you like how you did to him. Be courteous, help anyone who needs help and expect no help in return for expectations will make you hungry for recognition, which in turn makes you bitter and unhappy.

Treat human beings as human beings. To err is man, to forgive is divine. Do not overload them with YOUR IDEALS and YOUR EVERYTHING. One day you will realize that everyone will start dressing like you or end up backstabbing you because you always acted like a little emperor and show off that you are the best in town. It doesn't work (-.-)'''

Our life is a big experiment. We meet many types of people. Those who are upright good and righteous. Those who are conceited and selfish. Those who are foolish and gullible. Those who are too kind-hearted. Those who are soft and easily bullied. Those who are weak. Those who are incompetent. Those who do not want to work hard. Those who are big bullies and tyrants. Those who thinks either too highly or lowly of themselves. Those who gambles their life away. Those who are evil and unforgiving. Those who are loving and adoringly lovable.

We can choose to be anything we want to be. We can use what others 'bestowed' upon us back unto them as revenge is always something sweet. But can our little hearts take the consequences of our actions?

It is always that little part of 'conscience' in our hearts that will remind us that we've gone too far. The voice within that will keep us on the right side of the bed, do something that we will not regret and that one little part that reprimands us for doing something wrong. Without that part, we are nothing but a nation filled with bloated and sleeping people.

Decision is in our hands and in every decision you make (be a boss, be an employee, be a housewife etc), there are bound to be consequences of our actions. Step up to it, brace yourself and go through that one hurdle. Once you've passed the first mark, the following ones becomes easier. Practice makes perfect.

Be a human being. Make mistakes. Learn from mistakes. Forgive one another. Don't forget all the things you did, especially wrong and bad ones. And anyway and anyhow, just lead your life where you know that you can just leave at any time because you have no more regrets in life for you've done all you can and the little voice in your heart says "peace".